Responding wonder.

I received a comment. A real true comment. How exciting is that. Someone is actually reading. Sweet.

Not really the anonymity that I might hope for, but then beggars can't be choosers.

Thanks for the congratulations on the ride. I never before knew much at all about MS but having done this now I am awed by those who succeed in fighting the disease and live their lives despite it. Your father will be in my thoughts as I gear up for the September ride. If he ever wants company for another MS150....I like friends. Although I'm on the not quite slow yet not near fast side.

Yea 100 miles is a lot. And I am proud of myself. There were definitely times when I was ready to give up, in fact of the 4 on my team I was the only one to ride the whole ride. And go figure I was the newbie. But really what is 100 miles compared to a whole life.

I say that in two senses of the word. Firstly is the fact that I may go through this challenge for a weekend, but for the people with MS that I'm riding for that struggle is their whole life. If you really want to feel like we who are healthy have things good check out http://www.faceofms.org/ . Really in general I recommend checking it out, it's incredibly inspiring.

Secondly and really as selfish as I'm being but it is more pressing in my mind is the whole break up thing.

What reward do I want from life? Right now what I'm focused in on is finding someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Someone that will make me happy, someone to make me feel safe. Someone to be there so that I don't feel so alone.

I can be a pretty dark person to begin with so having been broken up with it's kind of like life is saying 'nope' not for you.

Most days I question that I am capable of the emotion we call 'love'.

I could, can if I'm being honest, picture spending the rest of my life with him. He was good. He had many qualities that were very good for me. He made me happy.


...


Being as it has become tomorrow already, I'll be leaving for camping later today. I really need this get-away so thank goodness it is finally here.


"From without, no wonderful effect is wrought within ourselves, unless some interior, responding wonder meets it."