Thursday, August 28, 2008

All it takes is faith and trust....

"Oh, and something I forgot! Dust!"

I had my Disney music on while I was folding laundry and cleaning my room and that song came up.

Then out of the blue I remembered how when I was little I would occasionally just wish and hope so much that I'd be able to have enough 'faith and trust' and then I'd be able to fly. I would just stand there and will it to happen. Or maybe jump around on my bed a bit.

Sadly I've still yet to manage it. I need me some pixie dust.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Join the Black Parade

Today was a good day. It shouldn't have been. But it was.

At work I have 1474 households to get tickets to. I spent too much of the weekend (aka non work time) working to put together the skeleton of the mailing. And then all day at work trying to coordinate volunteers and help to work on it plus doing it myself. I'm much better at doing everything myself, it's a flaw. And in working on it I discovered that some things seem to be missing and in fact there was a whole group of tickets that didn't print. O my. And the construction started today. Thats a mess. But my oh my how quickly does the day go by when you're just constantly working, driven, on that task and have others around you working as well.

I went to the library. My books were due, and I had managed to finish what I wanted. I went before ballet so I was on a tight time line. I got in and out in 10 minutes with what I wanted. Go me.

At ballet I'm still not at all up to par with the other girls. But it was totally a good workout. I can feel how I'm stronger and feel how I'm stretching longer. Plus she forgot her ballet music, again. And so at the end of class we were dancing to Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker. Now that is pretty sweet.


After class driving home it was dark and cool. I had a tank top on and rolled down the windows and turned up the radio. It was similar to how I used to love to ride home after RHB gigs. I've not been playing now but dancing is still an art and I'm still getting better and feeling good about it. I suppose it's my new thing. One of many I'd say. But this is closer to what I used to do.

As I was closer to home My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade came on. I love that song.

We'll Carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches on
Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world, will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, (we'll carry on)we wanna play this part
Do or die, (we'll carry on)you'll never make me
Because the world, (we'll carry on)will never take my heart
Go and try, (we'll carry, )you'll never break me
We want it all, (we'll carry on)we wanna play this part.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Full of fate.

I was randomly trolling through Craigslist, because for some reason this amuses me to no end. When I came across this little gem:


Needless to say I was quite amused. So I obviously looked it up a bit. And pondered a bit. And finally determined that no, I could not do this as a second job. The whole probably need to work during the day and conflict of interest thing posed difficulties given my full time gig.

So that was how I ended up once again (I've done this before) poking around the Hershey Symphony's website and wishing I could be playing in an Orchestra again. Then I found in an outdated list of press releases announcements of what seemed like open auditions in the August months (of 2005 and 2006, but hey).

I got up the nerve to send a simple question "are you holding auditions this year?". Turns out they are holding auditions Thursday 9/21 (aka next Thursday). "Please let me know if you would like to schedule a time as well as what instrument you play."

Hell yes I would like to audition. Please oh please let me in!

I responded with a bit more dignity: "I would be very interested in auditioning if you are accepting flute players. What should be prepared for an audition with the HSO?"

[Wow now I can't believe that I actually typed "HSO". They totally shouldn't go by that acronym being as we are the HSO and we are definately the big fish in this region.]

The old releases say Candidates should be prepared to play a short solo in the recognized orchestral repertoire for their instrument, scales and have an ability to sight read.' but I figured it can't hurt to ask. I was thinking about the possibilities and the music that I have/what I know. Then I was comparing that to the standard flute orchestra repertoire and I was thinking many things such as maybe Prelude to the Afternoon of a Fawn because I know it and worked on it a good bit last year. And Peter and the Wolf is common and awesome, but I've not actually played it so I was looking on you tube just to review over the music. And I found this :



I already know the Debussy and the Prokofiev is damn impressive. Let's hope I can learn it quickly. And that I still know my scales. And that I have tone.

Realistically I am jumping way ahead of things.

First let us hope that they have an open flute position.


"There are no little events in life, those we think of no consequence may be full of fate, and it is at our own risk if we neglect the acquaintances and opportunities that seem to be casually offered, and of small importance."

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I get a real kick out of trying.

I was tidying up my room this weekend and I happened to take notice of my flute leaning up against my bookshelf, untouched for at least 2 months I think. I also saw my piccolo on the shelf, that thing has been untouched for at least 9 months, but that’s partially because the thing is a nasty sounding bit of metal…I need a better instrument if I’m doing any piccolo parts.

But anyways it got me thinking about how sad it is that I’m not playing anymore.

Honestly I wasn’t that great of a player. Now whenever I say that people disagree with me. And yes, if I played for you there is a 90% chance that you would be impressed. But that is because there is a 90% you are not a serious musician. I was, and hopefully still am a good amateur.

I did improve tremendously in the 3 years that I was at college. By my senior year playing felt so good and so right. And I was doing it a lot.

There was a problem in that playing gave me pretty bad back issues, but time has erased the pain and all that I recall is the pleasure derived from playing.

So seeing my flute there, untouched, it’s sad. And it’s worse when I think on it and know that if I picked it up again today that I’ll have lost so much of my ability from disuse.

I want to take lessons again. Actually the ‘again’ is a misnomer. I never didn’t want to take lessons but for practical reasons I stopped after college.

So I started by looking up a Community Music program offered at my alma mater. $18 for a half hour.

Yikes….I’ve already convinced myself to pay $12 for an hour of ballet a week. I’d say flute is fundamentally more important to me but other things put ballet first.

The most ideal thing I can come up with would be having an hour lesson every other week. This works because you really need an hour lesson to accomplish much of anything. Plus I’d have more time to get practice hours in. Lastly I think I’ll start inquiring with my old teacher first, which would be amazing except that it would mean a drive.

It would be so amazing to be playing again.


“I do not consider myself as having mastered the flute, but I get a real kick out of trying.”
~James Galway (aka flute GOD)

Monday, August 11, 2008

Mamma Mia, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?


It all started a few weeks ago. For some unknown reason some company sent the symphony free passes to a pre-release screening of Mamma Mia. I was speculative and had dance class right before so ended up not going, but Rodger went and said it was good. Plus I had asked Jo about it so I piqued her interest.

Occasionally it would come up that she still wanted to go. And being as I am a dork and like musicals in most any form now I was up for it. This past Saturday was chosen as the date and off we went (as a part of a crazy busy day I might add).

I really wasn’t expecting this but….I totally loved it!

“See that girl! Watch that scene! If you change your mind, I’m the first in line. Mamma Mia, here I go again.”

I have been rather cheerfully singing the songs in my head ever since. Damn catchy they are.

Now practically speaking it is not technically a very good movie. The plot is thin and has some pretty serious holes, some of the singing is a bit questionable, the music doesn’t always quite work to add to the plot, and the cinematography, reviews tell me, isn’t quite up to par. But the movie is still just so much fun that I didn’t care at all about any of those things.

During the credits they had these extra songs. And Jo made some comment about how she couldn’t believe the accesses would do that. After all Meryl Streep is in this and she is a damn good actress. Why should she be playing the fool. The music is pretty durn ridiculous and the costumes were 20 times worse. But I just said to Jo because look at how fun that would be.

To have the freedom to just get up and be as wild and crazy and out there as you want. To make a complete fool out of yourself and it be ok. I wish I could do that.


This was probably my favorite song, although for a very different reason. This just had passion and heart and soul.

I don't wanna talk
About things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear

The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain?

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say?
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
'Cause it makes me feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see

The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all

The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Occupational Privilege

Well ya know how I started off with the idea of a personal finance blog and then proceeded to deviate nearly 100% from that path…..well here’s a post that goes back to it!

It was, I don’t know, maybe a month ago when some tax letter came. Boo. I thought that I’d already paid all of the crazy taxes either through that thing due April 15th or the other random deductions that they take out of my pay check automatically. Annoying because they take my money, but hey at least I don’t have to think too much.

But *surprise* there are even more taxes.

Down with this real-world crap, let me back in college please!

So this was some like school tax and occupational privilege tax crap and some other out of no-where ew-ness to the tune of $350.

$350 ouch.

Now it’s not like I’m living pay check to pay check, or like I’ll really notice much of any dent in my finances at all. But still – totally uncool.

I decided I could pay it out of my Emergency Fund, which sits at $5,000. And since I received the bill I’ve been throwing in some miscellaneous funds, like interest, and left overs from expense columns. Plus August is a 3 paycheck month (yippie!), so I’ll pull the rest of the balance from that and come out looking none the worse (as long as you don’t take into consideration the fact that I’ve planned to use those dollars for other savings projects for months).

Now I’ve another minor dilemma. The actual bill is due October I think. But if I pay in August there is a 2% ($7) deduction (and 5% penalty starting in November, a bit unfair sayith me). And I was going to pay it in August to get that deduction. However I realized that my online high-yield accounts are as follows: Schwab checking: 2% apy, E*Trade savings: 3.3% apy, and HSBC savings: 3.5% apy. Now those are all variable amounts but if am not missing something mathematically I can earn more in interest by holding onto that 350 until October than I save by paying it now.

So being as I’ve realized it shouldn’t it be easy and I’ll be like ‘oh duh pay in October’. But my mind doesn’t work so simply and I don’t like having outstanding bills. Paying it now would get it over and done with.

What’s a girl to do?

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Check

Scratch half of the ineptitude - I have added a widget!

Ineptitude

I want to add widgets to my blog.

First off being as I mostly read personal finance blogs I wanted to add something you see on most of them. Just simple little bars that track savings progress. And after way too much attempted research I have still not managed to figure out a way to install such things on my blog. Tricky little buggers.

Just today browsing around I noticed a 'currently reading' widget on someones blog. And being as realistically my blog has not stuck at all on a personal finance trend but I'm currently on a book kick I figured that might be rather appropriate.

Google searches have revealed nothing.

How did I become so inept?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Who is John Galt?

If you are not as well read as me (please excuse my attempt at insulting you faceless reader as I try to inflate my own self esteem) you may not realize that I am of course, given the title, writing about Atlas Shrugged.

First off this book is a monster. The printing I picked up lists at 1096 pages. And trust me the print is not large. In fact it is pretty damn small. By all accounts I am a fast reader. Sometimes I think it’s because I have a tendency to gloss over things, but I’ve been getting better about not skipping things. But I would read and read and read and then it would still feel like I was not getting anywhere. I purchased the book on July 17th and despite a good bit of reading didn’t finish it until Sunday August 2nd. If you look it up on Wikipedia it says that its one of the longest books written in any European Language.

Written by Ayn Rand its not really what I would call ‘light’ reading. She wrote it as a way to explain her philosophy on life, known as Objectivism. Yet even as I say this it is an enjoyable read. For the most part there is a definite story, not just long soap box speeches. There is only one exception where there is a ridiculously long speech that is actually meant to be like the climax of the book and all. However I like my light reading so this climax was a bear to get through. It probably does not help that I hit it at 1am, and soon gave up, leaving it to finish along with the rest of the book the next day.

Rand’s concept of Objectivism is I think a very great ideal. However I do question it’s practical application in real life. The extremes that are displayed in the book just don’t quite transition to what would actually happen in my mind. But it could just be my cynical opinion.

Despite this I still say definitely a good book to read. It gives you a lot to think about and consider and many bridges into contemplation of ones own life and how you are living it. Plus it really as a whole is a good enjoyable, I think, story.

One book on my list (that I still need to make) down.


“I am, therefore I'll think.”

Sky Lake

I was camping last week.


I love camping. Like more than life love camping.


For me camping is kind of like going and living a different life. And in that new life I don’t have to deal with the hastle of real life. It’s escapism.


And it’s not like I didn’t think about it all. I spent way too much time obsessing over my personal life, or new lack there of. I worried about work. Pathetically enough I actually had a nightmare about the symphony.

It’s kind of amusing now actually. Somehow someway in my dream we were having a concert but the season tickets hadn’t been mailed out before it so everything was a giant mess. Yes that is probably the only nightmare I’ve had in quite a while. I think this may display some of the fact that my life is pathetic.


Go me.


Most people would probably consider my camping awesomeness to be boring. Or even too much work (I have a bit of a wood-gathering obsession as well as cleaning and organizing obsessions. The penguins diagnosed me with camping OCD). But I still love it. It’s not supposed to be particularly exciting or at all life changing or anything. It’s just peaceful and tranquil and that is such a contrast from everyday life that it makes it the beset.

The only thing that bothered me with this trip was that we could actually hear road noise. Somehow I don’t recall ever being able to hear the road in all the years that I’ve gone before.


I suppose that means I just need to find something even more ridiculously remote. Which is actually on the list as TRM and I are planning to save our pennies and go on a Sierra Club backpacking trip next summer. Sweet deal.




You can see why they call it Sky Lake.