Live the questions now.

Most people who know me don’t realize this but I am a very cynical person. I flat out don’t believe in the whole one true love thing or the myth of love at first sight. I barely can convince myself to believe in a romantic notion of love. Like seriously people, get real.

But leave it to life to try and trip me up. You see I’m more or less head over heels for date #2, let’s call him A. It’s freaking me out.

Firstly he picked me up for our date. I’m actually pretty sure that this is the first time that this has ever happened for me. I liked it, it was somewhat chivalrous like.

Secondly he took me to a nice restaurant. It hit the spot of being fancy but not too fancy just right. In fact I think that may describe A altogether.

Thirdly he took and held my hand going into and out of the restaurant. Then when we were back at home watching a movie he immediately cuddled with me. Quite a bit. Later he kissed me. I don’t kiss on the first date. Fortunately (or is it Unfortunately?) myself had vacated the premises for the evening. Hate to kiss and tell but I’m inclined to put it out somewhere. He’s a pretty bad kisser. There is the potential for asphyxiation concerns in my future. But I don’t mind.

Fourthly part a he’s at least decently intelligent. He was a linguist for the army and reportedly speaks Korean. He was going to school for International Studies and is almost through with the degree but situations caused him to move up here, he will be completing the degree however on top of the full time job and part b. Which is working administratively for the VA. Rock on non-profit.

Fifthly he’s hot.

Sixthly he actually likes me. This is supported by such things as the fact that he kissed me and probably would have slept on my couch if I didn’t kick him out around 1:30. Additional evidence can be found in conversations snippits such as “ you can spend your free time with me”, “I had a good time”, and somewhat inconclusively “I like you.”

That all being said I am indeed freaking out. Good freaking out obviously with all that stuff, but also bad freaking out. I don’t want to get hurt and seems like letting myself get my hopes all up would be a really good way to do that.

Kinda like Mr. Fling whom I’m making light of in order to not let it get to me.

Normally I am an incredibly patient person and I like to do things slowly. This feels like it’s just rushing right at me. I only met him once. And our few phone calls were all brief and somehow felt slightly awkward. I don’t know how I can possibly like him so much.

Only time will tell. Wish me luck. Maybe life will teach me to believe.




"...be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now."